How to not get offended?

Don’t you ever feel like some people just step on your toes intentionally and wants to infuriate you or simply put, “wanna test your patience”?

Well, I am only human and I have to say that honestly, this happens to me a lot of times. I come from an environment where being candid, outright and open is practised with a clear intention to help one another. My wires have been fine-tuned that way and in no way do I want to change that.
In the outer working society however, I realised this does not happen easily. It can be a cruel and animalistic world out there where only the craftiest will survive. They will not hesitate to step on one another to climb up that social ladder and I was not used to it. I came from a background where all of us are being protected by a strong and unyielding culture.
Therefore, when I stepped away from the organisation, Hell NO was I going to leave for a lower quality than that.
The first thing which I learned when I was outside was that, people get offended easily or they bear grudges.
The second thing was, empowerment do not rmean responsibility but it means the right to boast and lord over other human beings. I do not want to go in further details of other disturbing lessons which I garnered the past few months but I wanted to document more of how my past 12 years have actually groom me to be able to stand strong and fortified my position to defend the littlest bit of integrity that we should have in us.
Here is the thought process and actions which I went through and execute:
#1 All of us have problems but do I focus on them or focus on seeking solutions to problems?
As much as I would like to say that I have my own set of problems, relatively speaking all of us have our fair share of it. The degree of severity also varies according to individuals and our responsibilities. The principal of Perception comes into play. Some of us may think that we got it bad and that luck is always  looking downwards for our lives. Life simple becomes meaningless and we can’t be bothered to live with a purpose. This in fact is just our perception which we “think” we are in.
We see the problem and we choose to swim with the problem, that is why we simply feed our illusion and get drowned by it.
In essence, when I am faced with challenges, I get stuck in the rut the moment I choose to talk about the problems all-day long. It will soon become a chronic problem all because of myself.
#2 YOLO, because time waits for no one. If I delay any moment I am just being washed away just like that.
When I wanted to take a step to change, it create a long chain of reactions and process which I must bear responsibility and be ready to take on as the wave comes. That definite end point stays the same and any small waves that comes along the way, I ride and surf on it. This assist in my decision making over every small, simple things I do and face everyday. As the saying goes, when matters are not handled when it is still small and manageable it will be a horrendous challenge when it grows bigger. One negative aspect of this, is that people around me thinks that I became too light-hearted and not grounded enough to take life seriously. They judge me based on their perceptions. I cannot avoid that but I can choose to understand and empathise with them. I am an active process. I do not take what people talk of me and impact myself negatively. I maintain an open thought that I should learn how to let people understand me better regardless of who or what they are.
Even if they may be incorrigible, unfair or judgemental. My stand would be “do I want to be troubled by that? Do they make me feel useless/helpless?” If both answers are no, then congratulations because you have learned to understand the power of your mind control.
#3 I take a step back to reflect and self-deprecate on the events and actions which I went through daily.
Everyday, every moment and every person that we meet (be it strangers on the street, or neighbours or even your family members) plays a significant part on our life. As we may get busy with the task at that point of time, we may filter out important occasion or events. Thus far, daily before I end my day, my brain went through what had happened the whole morning, afternoon or basically the whole day. I asked myself “what could have been done better? What went wrong? How do I rectify something and what would be my best next move?” Nothing too small and nothing too big cannot be solved without a little bit of thinking. I make it a point to come up with a conclusion on the same day (#decisive). Any problems which I perceived too heavy for me and I need proper help and guidance, those I will write down and seek help. It is good to have a mentor, a leader and a coach who can see our condition from a bird’s eye point of view.
Our lives are short and precious. I have seen new lives come into this earth with all of us and I have seen loved ones who left. I never hesitate to make decisions fast in life, but I make sure that I have planned out my definite end goal so that, I determine the direction I am heading to yet at the same time, I train my agility and versatility to take on challenges along the way.
As Mike Bundrant, co-author of AHA Solution mentioned “Language forms the foundation of our perception. When you change the structure of your language, you change the structure of your world”. In this passage, language does not simply refers to the words that we are conversing everyday. It delves further into the mind programming of each individual and how we live our life with our perceived understanding of things. The moment our paradigm change, our lives will also change.
Peace,
zsiti

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